Beyond Last Place

Have you ever found yourself beyond last place? Until recently, I didn’t even know that was a possibility, but that’s exactly where I saw myself one day.

My daily devotions lately had been part of a 40-day churchwide Bible study. That particular morning, my reading was Mark 9:33-35:

³³They [Jesus and His disciples] came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?”  ³⁴But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. ³⁵Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

This concept of “the first will be last and the last will be first” and the question of who’s greatest in the Kingdom of God are also found in Matthew 20: 20-28, Mark 10:35-45, Luke 22:24-26, and Matthew 19:30.

After mulling that passage over, I had to admit that sometimes, or perhaps often would be more accurate, I want a more desirable job than the one God has called me to serve in at the time. A job that is more prestigious, or more visual, or easier, or just more fun. But none of those qualifiers are evident in Jesus’s example of servanthood.  And none of them will raise my position in His Kingdom. (I’m not envisioning ladder-climbing here, but being more pleasing to God.)

I would have a perfect opportunity to apply this teaching later that day. CW and I were to meet residents from a senior living facility at the nearby National Underground Railroad Freedom Center for an afternoon outing. We volunteer at the senior facility, so we know many of the residents and some of the other volunteers who would come. But just any serving role was not enough today. The important issue was my willingness to be last.

With that in mind, I told God He could pair me with anyone He wanted. It was okay if I didn’t know the person, even though it isn’t easy for me to begin a fresh relationship. It was okay if the person wasn’t interested in being there and I had to be excited for both of us. It was okay if she was a non-talker and I had to work at engaging her. Then I moved down to the lowest position I could think of, the hardest for me to deal with. It was even okay if He put me with someone whose speech was difficult for me to understand. But I was willing to do whatever He wanted.

We drove over, met the van at the street, and helped wheel the residents into the building. While the activity director purchased tickets, everyone else moved toward the elevators. I was near the end of the leisurely procession. At the elevators, volunteers and residents paired off. I took a step toward a lady I knew, but another volunteer was closer and claimed her. CW was standing by another resident. I walked over and asked him if he was going to take the gentleman. He was.

I looked around. There was no one else, for by that time the other four residents were already in the elevator and the doors were closing. I did a quick count, then asked CW how many volunteers he had seen in the elevator. He thought four, which matched my count. Using my astute math ability, I quickly realized there were seven volunteers but only six residents. It seems one resident decided at the last minute not to come. My person, apparently.

Really, Lord? He knows how I hate to have nothing to do when I show up to work. That’s the worst. I want to keep busy, not stand around feeling useless. My normal reaction to this situation is to withdraw and sulk inwardly, wishing I hadn’t come because there was absolutely no reason for me to be there. The feeling I get borders on panic. This was definitely beyond last; I had no position at all. Really, Lord?

I’m pretty sure He said at that point, “Didn’t you tell me you would do whatever I wanted you to do? Willingly?”

I nearly laughed out loud. “Yes, Lord, indeed I did.”

For the next two hours, I remained positive and present. I joined the group in admiring the displays and reading the informational plaques. I made an effort to converse with each of the residents and to help them all to have a cheerful experience. And whenever a tinge of panic surfaced, God caught my eye and sent me a wink.

My position that day may have been beyond last, but my place with God was nothing less than great. Maybe what He wanted me to see was that whatever position He places me in to serve, I will be serving right beside Him—and that is the greatest place in His Kingdom!