The Key to Growing Christlike Character

Have you ever worked hard to be more considerate of others than you are of yourself yet you continue to favor your own desires? Despite trying day after day to present a gentler or more peaceful attitude toward the world, do you still dispense high doses of your cultural dissatisfaction on the people around you? Have you determined to bridle your tongue when you have an urge to spread gossip but you hear harmful words leave the gate anyway?

In short, have you tried to be more like Jesus in your words and actions only to have your efforts turn to frustration with yourself and discouragement that you’ll ever change?

It reminds me of a faulty light switch we have in our kitchen. Sometimes it works fine. After I flip it on, I descend the steps to an illuminated basement. Other times, though, I’m met with darkness, so I have to climb back up the steps to flip the switch off and back on before I get light. Occasionally to make it work, I’ve had to jiggle the entire switch box, which is possible because the cover plate is missing.

Lately, however, I can’t get light no matter what I do, which convinces me that I recently threw away a perfectly good bulb because I misdiagnosed the problem. Obviously, we have a bad connection and no power is getting to the bulb to produce light. Regardless of how hard I work at flipping and jiggling that switch, the bottom steps remain in darkness.

That’s how it is when I work at being more like Jesus but experience only glimmers of change, or no progress at all.

Jesus gave us another illustration when he taught his disciples about the vine and branches (John 15:1-8). He said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (v.5). His words shine light on our ineffective approach to change.

Branches don’t have the ability to create fruit. They require nourishment from the juices that flow from the vine. Therefore, if the branch is not connected to the vine, it can’t bear fruit.

Jesus said we can’t bear fruit if we don’t remain in him (v.4). In Chasing Vines*, Beth Moore says that being connected to Jesus enables us to do what we can’t do on our own and become who we can’t be on our own (p.134). It’s only by being connected to Jesus that his life can flow through us to produce his character in us—something we can’t do on our own.

Branches don’t produce fruit by working at it. They don’t labor day after day trying to make luscious fruit appear. They simply stay connected to the vine and, thereby, receive the needed nourishment.

A teacher I heard online said that our job is not to produce fruit, but rather to focus on being connected to Jesus. We need to redirect our energy from our fruit to the vine. Then our fruit of good works, love, and self-denial will be natural, easy, and unconstrained (Barnes’ Notes). For it is Jesus alone who brings forth fruit in our lives.

Branches don’t produce ready-to-eat fruit overnight. It begins small and grows gradually. As long as the branch remains connected to the vine, the fruit continues to mature, becoming increasingly more attractive and delectable.

As we remain connected to Jesus, he will continue to mature the fruit of his character in us. We can be patient by remembering he is at work and it is a process. Rather than being frustrated at not yet being who we want to be, we can rejoice in the growth we experience.

We can see that the key to becoming more like Jesus in our character is staying connected to him. But how do we do that?

The Greek word menó is translated “remain, abide, stay.” To remain in Christ means “not to depart, not to leave, to continue to be present” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon). It isn’t a physical place, but rather a spiritual presence with the person of Jesus.

Remaining in Jesus first requires that we recognize we cannot live a fruitful life without him. Then we must live totally dependent on him every day just as the branch must depend on the vine. If detached from the vine, the branch will wither; if we do not remain dependent on Jesus, we will wither spiritually.

It is human nature to want our independence, but when we do things our own way we are no longer abiding with Jesus. We sever the connection that allows his life to flow in and through us when we insist on living life our way—the way that seems right to us, or the way we want it to be.

It is up to us to remain connected to Jesus, to stay dependent on him. Beth Moore said abiding is “breathing with Christ, doing day-to-day life with Christ. It’s the ongoing awareness of His presence, even when there’s no feeling of His presence” (Chasing Vines, p.142).

Here are a few practical and simple ways to abide with Jesus:

• Be aware of Jesus. Look for him all around you—in nature, in people, in unexpected blessings. Even in tragic situations, ask him to reveal himself to you.
• Talk with Jesus constantly and about everything. Confide in him, share concerns, or discuss with him the book you’re reading. Constant communication will draw you into a closer relationship and help guard against that tendency to be independent.
• Read his Word and meditate on it. You will get to know Jesus better and your trust in him will increase.
• Take moments to be still and simply enjoy the presence of Jesus.

It will do us no good to work at trying to be like Jesus. We can never do it. It isn’t our job. But if we stay dependent on him, always acknowledging our need for him, we will remain connected to the source of life. Then Jesus will be able to flow through us to naturally produce his character in our life.

Scripture quotation is from NIV.

Greek definition and commentary are from Bible Hub. See Resources.

*Moore, Beth. Chasing Vines: Finding your way to an immensely fruitful life. Tyndale House, 2020.

Feature photo by Hilde Buyse on Unsplash